Oh, my. What have I done here? I'm sitting in my house (that qualifies as a tiny one, at 864 square feet, thank you very much)...that I OWN...with my WIFE...and our KID is laying in be in the next room...reading. That's right, everyone.
Domesticated.
I have friends. I have found family. My Dad moved here to die. My Mom stays in North Dakota and still refuses to LIVE. I waste my time some days (most days) talking to a bunch of hooligans on Twitter, who I then stand with in the same section, week after week, watching our team lose. (RCTID) I have moved from the barren, desolate wasteland of San Diego (the best city in the United States according to itself), with it's heat, and sun, and brown grass and dry landscape to...Portland. Portland is currently at 103 degrees at 7pm, with nary a cloud scooting across the sky...and my front lawn may very well never return to green. What have I done?
I guess I've done a few things here and there...but I haven't done what I wanted to do. And kind of lost what all that was, anyway, as I took off to pursue the dream of something or another that involves stability and safety and security, and various other "r" starting words that I would have scoffed at 5 years ago. And here I am. I've come through another interesting time in life to land at this moment. And I have no idea what to do with it. I've let go of so many many things at this point, that I have very little left that I consider worth the time or energy to even look at, let alone invest in. And so. I'm staring at a clean slate of sorts. Ready to be filled with things that bring me joy. Find the joy. What I really want is peace. I believe it is attainable...or perhaps I've already attained it, as I lay here in my little (tiny) house...thinking...
What have I done?
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